Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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