He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
