dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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