Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
