Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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