Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
