What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
