If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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