we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
