It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
