Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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