Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
