you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
