Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just high enough for therapy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
