Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
