I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
