I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The power of my boobs compel you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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