Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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