I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize