I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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