im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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