Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
