There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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