If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
