fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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