he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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