you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
