if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
this will be a night to untag.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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