butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
