I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize