We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
