Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what day is it and did you see me today?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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