Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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