my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
