Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
