So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
