If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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