I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize