if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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