What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A bitchslap is in order.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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