She announced her abortion via fbk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
