I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
