This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
