Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
