Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
