I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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