Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
