you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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