just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
