Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
