A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
