pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
