Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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