dude i'm inner monologue high
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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