so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
