tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize