Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well you can't waste a boner
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
